This morning, we loaded up the car for a trip to see family in two states. When running was my only focus, packing up the running shoes and the Garmin was easy enough. Now that it’s the middle of triathlon season and marathon training, it’s a lot more complicated. While I could probably get by without swimming or biking for a week, Mike can’t since he’s training for IM Wisconsin. With the bike rack being loaded on the car anyway, I may as well throw my bike on, too. Of course that means the helmet, bike shoes, water bottles and all that must make the trip. Throw in the swimsuit and other swim stuff just in case we get a chance to swim. Marathon training means a long run with GU and the hydration belt. It seems like just yesterday we were packing the car with the portable crib and baby bottles, and now its all workout gear and electronic entertainment devices.
We’ve made the trip many times, but before we left the driveway I pulled out the map. Where are we going? The marathon training schedule is a map, but lately I’ve been wondering if I know where I am going. A friend asked me what was my goal time. Answer: I don’t know yet. My longest run has only been 9 miles, so it’s too hard to guess how my body will hold up when I start running 15 miles and more. Not having an answer also feels safe. I’m not setting myself up for disappointment or investing too much of myself. Taking a “whatever happens, happens” approach makes me feel like I won’t be at fault if things go terribly wrong.
Even I don’t think I can fool myself any longer. This is “predicting,” not goal setting. Of course it’s too early to know what is likely going to happen, but it’s time to stop being a wimp and get out the map. I can’t get anywhere without knowing where I want to go. One of my favorite quotes is by Eunice Shriver, “If you never fail, you’re not trying hard enough.” Setting a goal means I may fail, but it’s time to try a little harder. I don’t mean run more or run faster. I need to move away from my low-bar strategy, where I expect the worse so that I won’t be disappointed. I need to invest a little more pride in what I accomplish and not just leave it up to luck. Right now, my only stated goal for NYC is to get to the start line. Not a very lofty goal.
Do I have the guts to expose myself to disapointment? I can hardly get myself to type a goal time, because I want to immediately follow it with a “but” or an “unless.” Goal: something to aim for… not necessarily what I think I will do… a guide for training… something to reach for… the measure of success or failure. I guess my reluctance to state a time all comes down to that last point. I don’t want meeting the goal to be the measure of whether all my training and the race are sucessful. If I tell you my time and I finish slower than that, will you think I failed? Will I think I failed? Time has never been what running is about for me. I try to tell myself that I accepted being a back-of-the-packer long ago. Let it go.
Enough procrastination. Here it is: 4:30. It’s so hard not to type a sentence that explains why I think I can’t run that fast. I desperately want to type that 4:30 is out of the realm of possibility for me and explain why. But it’s not. I put my recent race times into 2 different race calculators, and both say I can do it. It’s up to me to make it happen. The goal is set. To meet this goal, I must stay healthy and stay focused. I must not get distracted by other races and diversions along the way. I can do it. And if I don’t, at least I know that I tried my best.
{ 9 comments }
“If you never fail, you’re not trying hard enough.”
Thank you for sharing that quote, Beth. That is a good one that I had never heard before. And here is to shooting for 4:30! I know you can do it. All the best to you in pursuing your goal!
Hi Beth,
I absolutely love that quote too! It really makes me think about why it is okay for me not to have a great race all of the time. It makes me work harder and appreciate the good runs and races all the more:)
When I was training for my full marathon 4:30 was my goal too! You can totally do it! You are training hard and you are also banking biking and swimming time. The crosstraining that you are doing is helping with your speed and endurance! Good luck to you….I am cheering for you Beth!
Beth, this was a wonderful post and I needed it today, thanks so much. My reply to you,
YOU CAN and YOU WILL!
*May I use that quote in my blog? It really struck a cord with me!
Hugs and happy travels!
My goals are a bit different since I am so new to running. I use a range approach. Something like a target time of 4:20 to be “Dance Party all Night” happy and 4:30 to be really happy and anything else to be happy.
Have a great vacation.
Great post Beth. Makes me think about my running and upcoming races with a more critical mind. Not that I want to do that right now but something that is necessary.
Allways keep your head in the race, let your body help with the pace. It will tell you what it likes for a pace and you just push a little beyond that! And have fun! And that comes from a guy who DNF’d at 73 miles and love the effort I gave!
I think getting to the starting line of a marathon is the hardest part. Once you’re there, you’ll do great!!
I’ll be cheering you on to the finish.
Hope you have a great trip this week!
You can do it! You ran really well last night in the heat. At the same time, there is nothing wrong with getting to the starting line and seeing what the day will bring.
Well look at it this way: I won’t be on the starting line, so you already have succeeded where others have failed.
4:30 is very doable. Remember to save strength for miles 16-26, which are in Manhattan!
Glad to see you are still in the loop. I look forward to the days of exercise gear in the car instead of vacation planning being consumed by babysitters and car seats.
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